


Selfish

by phoenix_michie



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Blow Jobs, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff and Smut, Frottage, Hand Jobs, Handcuffed Together, Handcuffs, M/M, Non-Penetrative Sex, Oral Sex, Post-Episode: s14e12 Prophet and Loss, Season/Series 14, Season/Series 14 Spoilers, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-09
Updated: 2019-03-09
Packaged: 2019-11-04 09:35:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17896004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phoenix_michie/pseuds/phoenix_michie
Summary: Sam loves his brother, and he’d do anything to save him – he’d even save him from himself. And since he doesn’t trust his brother that he’s going to drop the “Michael and me together in the box to save the world” thing, he does the very first thing he can think of to make sure that Dean won’t get into trouble again until they have figured out how to solve the problem:Sam wants to lock Dean into the bunker, together with Castiel to prevent him from doing something stupid.There’s only one way to make sure that Dean really won’t escape them: Handcuffs.Castiel’s on board with that.(14x12 Coda)





	Selfish

**Author's Note:**

> This coda fic starts right after the 12th episode of season 14, after Sam convinced Dean that it's not a suitable solution to bury himself in the deep ocean, just to get rid of Michael. (Thanks, Sam!)
> 
> Many, many thanks to my beta reader drawlight! Without her help, I wouldn't be able to post this.

 

*.*.*

 

The air is heavy with things left unsaid. There’s an uncomfortable tension between all three of them, but nobody addresses it. Castiel assumes that everyone’s letting their thoughts wander. There’s still a lot to figure out but for once, Castiel is kind of relieved. It feels like he can breathe again, even if it’s just a little bit better. Michael is still a very present problem since he’s still residing in Dean, making him wince sometimes. And it seems like Dean’s concentration is bothered more and more. Castiel can only guess how Dean must be feeling.

 

He glances at him thoughtfully through the rearview mirror. Dean’s eyes are trained onto the road, sometimes blinking hard to regain concentration. Castiel can’t tell if it’s because Dean’s tired or if it’s because of Michael raging in his mind.

 

Castiel stares out of the window to his left. It’s dark, close to midnight, and there are already no other cars on the road. When he suddenly feels his phone vibrate against his thigh, he slides his hand into the pocket of his trench coat, fishing for the device. He frowns at the screen, then at Sam. The younger brother’s eyes stay glued onto his own smartphone, tapping frantically. Cas lowers his gaze onto his own screen again, thumbing across it to open Sam’s message. It’s short.

 

**_We’ll knock Dean out, lock him into his room, and we’re not leaving his side._ **

****

It sounds harsh coming from Sam, and he’s talking about _Dean_ – his brother. Castiel’s frown deepens, not quite understanding what this is about. His fingers hover over the keyboard, but there’s a new message from Sam adding itself to the chat.

 

**_Don’t know how we’ll do it exactly, but I won’t let Dean leave. The moment he thinks we’ll lose anyway, he’ll throw himself in that stupid coffin. And that’s not gonna happen. He has no say in it._ **

****

Castiel’s eyes widen in surprise. Sam sounds very determined. Gruff even, but Castiel can relate. He hates that suicidal plan just like Sam does. It doesn’t matter that it’s supposed to be a sacrifice for humanity. For a brief moment, Castiel closes his eyes as his heart clenches painfully in his chest. It’s not about humanity anymore. Not for Castiel. Hasn’t been for a long time now and he should feel guilty about it. Except he can’t.

 

When he opens his eyes again, there’s yet another text from Sam.

 

**_We can’t lose him. Are you in?_ **

****

A small smirk tugs at the corner of Castiel’s lips.

 

This is so deliciously selfish.

 

***.*.***

Baby’s doors creak and then there are loud thuds when Sam and Cas slam them shut at the same time. The sound echoes through the cold air, only strengthening the determination in their eyes.

 

Dean shoots them a disapproving look, and normally Castiel would be sorry to treat Baby like this, but tonight he doesn’t care that he’s not even able to pretend like he feels guilty.

“Dean?” He steps closer to the other man, staring at his face. “Let me heal you.” There’s a bit of blood and an ugly bruise blooming on his jaw. Right where Sam had punched him, assumes Castiel. He didn’t see it as he had still been in the building, trying to escape from Donatello and the doctor’s questions.

Dean lowers his head and shakes it slowly. “Nah, I’m fine.” He turns away, heading towards the door of the garage.

“Dean-…”

“Cas, drop it,” Dean bites out. “I probably deserve that.”

 

Castiel rolls his eyes at Dean’s stubbornness and pointless suffering, but he doesn’t argue.

 

Sam shoots him a small smile, then he nods at Cas, his expression sobering up. They’re walking side by side, following Dean further into the bunker, as Sam shortly explains his plan to Cas. Unfortunately, they can’t just change the lock of the bunker’s doors. Chaining him to a room is also not going to work for long because Dean knows how to free himself of handcuffs if they leave him alone for too long.

 

So they won’t leave him alone at all.

 

Dean seems to be blissfully unaware of Sam and Cas whispering to each other. He’s going straight to the fridge in the kitchen, snatching a cold bottle of beer. Sam sits down on a chair, while Cas stands next to him at the table. They both watch Dean drinking his beer in long gulps. He’s chugging it down, really.

 

“Dean, that’s not healthy,” Castiel informs him as he steps closer to the other man.

Dean sighs and puts the bottle down on the counter, then grins lazily at Cas. “I do a lot of things that aren’t healthy, Cas.”

Sam snorts in the background, but Castiel’s eyes stay locked on Dean’s. He can feel it. Dean’s given up. He stills clings to that stupid plan of his, he just wants to give Sam and Cas more time to grow accustomed to the idea. To the loss they’ll face.

But Sam and Cas can be as stubborn as Dean. They won’t let him do it.

“Yes,” Cas agrees with a stony face. He’s still mad at Dean. Disappointed. To be close to Dean should be painful. Maddening. But it gives him a weird satisfaction. “And that’s why we’re doing _this_.”

Dean’s eyebrows raise in question, but Cas already whips out the handcuffs and clicks them shut around Dean’s wrist.

“What the?!” Dean tries to yank his hand away but again Cas is faster – and stronger, for that matter. With a jerk he pulls Dean’s arm closer and puts the other part of the handcuffs on his own wrist. His friend stares at him with wide eyes. “Cas, what are you doing?”

“I will make sure that you keep believing in us, Dean.”

Dean furrows his brows, then looks at Sam who’s stood up. “Sam? You can’t be possibly okay with this. Free me.”

“No, Dean,” Sam replies, somewhat tired. “I’m sorry that we have to do that to you, but I don’t trust you. It wouldn’t be the first time that you decide to disappear in the middle of the night to do something stupid.”

“It’s _not_ something stupid!” Dean insists, anger lacing his voice.

“It is, Dean!” Sam stares at his brother. “Come on, we talked about it. You don’t get to check out of this. We’ll find a way, like we always do.”

“Oh yeah? Like we found a way nine years ago, when you let Lucifer possess you? When you dragged him down into that shithole of hell?” Dean snorts, lowers his head, then shakes it. “Come on, guys. I promised you I would return home with you, here we are. We’ll try it your way, but if the time comes, and we’ll be sure that there’s no other way, then you help me get into that fucking box and down into the ocean!” He stares at Cas, then at Sam. “Come on! You promised me!”

Sam shrugs, his eyes glistening. “I know. I lied.”

Dean’s eyes narrow and he looks pleadingly at Castiel. “Cas…”

Castiel stares into those green eyes, now glistening with unshed tears too. “I lied,” he repeats Sam’s words and the anger returns in Dean’s eyes.

 

“This isn’t funny!” he shouts and yanks at the cuffs that bind him to Cas. “Why are you even doing _this?_ ” He shakes their arms. “Couldn’t you just lock me into my room?”

“Yeah sure,” Sam snorts. “So that you can pick the lock with a paper clip? Or grab a gun and just shoot them apart? No, I don’t think so.”

“I’m sorry, Dean,” Cas says. “But it’s necessary. I’ll take good care of you,” he promises and sees that Dean’s body suddenly is shivering. He cocks his head because he doesn’t understand, but Dean already is speaking again.

“Cool, so what? Am I supposed to sleep with Cas in one bed? Will he hold my hand when I have to pee?”

Sam rolls his eyes. “We haven’t thought that far, but we’ll work something out.”

Dean scoffs. “Yeah, sure. You guys better take turns chaining yourselves to me, you’ll need it. I _will_ poop.”

Sam shrugs and looks at Castiel. “You got this?”

“Of course, Sam. I will keep an eye on him.”

Dean shakes his head in exasperation. “I promised you to stay here. Jeez.” He’s still angry and Castiel suddenly is aware of the fact that most of Dean’s aggressive demeanor will be directed at him. That’s not going to be pleasant, but it’s worth it.

 

“Well, I’m beat,” Sam declares. “I’ll go to bed. And you guys… Please, Dean, try to be nice.”

Dean grunts and follows Sam with his eyes until he’s out of the kitchen. Castiel stands still at the older brother’s side, waiting for him to decide what he wants to do next.

 

For a brief moment, Dean seems to think, then he looks down at Cas. “Come on, dude, let me free. I won’t run. Not tonight, anyway. We’ve got some time to figure out what to do next.” He looks at Castiel, begging him with his eyes.

Cas returns his gaze with a sad look. “I’m sorry, Dean. I promised Sam that I won’t open the handcuffs until he says so. We just don’t want to risk it. I’m really sorry.” And that he is. “It’s not my wish to hold you captive against your will. But…it _is_ my wish that you live, Dean.”

 

Dean groans despite the honest and emotional words that Castiel shares with him, and that makes Cas angry. “So, for you, it would be okay if Sam throws himself into the ocean, alive? Sacrificing himself, again?” Cas asks, raising his voice.

“No!” Dean shouts. “We’re not talking about all of this again! Not now! Not ever! Shut up, Cas!” Dean’s chest is heaving, his face flushed from anger.

 

Castiel purses his lips in disapproval, but he keeps quiet, for now. Suddenly, Dean starts to move past him, yanking at the cuffs and therefore dragging Castiel along.

“Where are we going?”

“Well, you wouldn’t care if you weren’t chained to me, so… You’ll see,” Dean grumbles and stomps through the hallways.

 

Cas’ irritation grows. He can understand that Dean isn’t happy about the situation, but he doesn’t need to be mean. He’s just making it difficult for them both now.

Silently, Cas follows his friend. If he wanted, he could make Dean go into any direction Castiel would like, but he refrains from doing it. He doesn’t want to pose with his powers. What he wants for Dean is to be as comfortable as possible in this situation.

To Castiel’s surprise, they don’t head to Dean’s room so that the man can sleep. No, they enter the man cave.

“Dean?”

There’s no answer, so he assumes that Dean is still pissed. He drags Castiel to the shelves full of DVDs, picking one out and putting it into the player.

 

As soon as they both sit down on the couch, Dean swears. “Fuck, I forgot the beer.” Annoyed, he gets up again, then spares a glance at Cas. “Or can you, like…zap it here?”

Cas furrows his brows. “Dean, I can’t zap into the kitchen, can I? I can’t zap for years, now. So how do you think this would work now?!” The topic of his wings is still a sore spot and it’ll probably never change.

Grumbling, Dean yanks Castiel up. “Come on.”

“Great…” Slowly, it dawns on Cas that this – being tied to Dean – won’t be easy and it won’t be nice. But he follows Dean to the kitchen and back, taking the popcorn, that’s hurriedly made by Dean, without complaining. If he manages to please Dean, maybe it’ll be a nice time for them eventually. Hopefully.

 

They sit quietly on the couch, watching the movie. Dean puts as much space as possible between them, and Cas tries to be not hurt by that. He notices Dean’s occasional disapproving looks at their linked hands, but neither of them say anything. Dean munches the popcorn, sometimes handing Cas the bowl, but the angel shakes his head every time. He doesn’t really like the taste.

It’s some sort of horror movie that’s on screen and Castiel tries to decide if he wants to truly watch it, so that he can discuss it with Dean – maybe that would be pleasant for Dean – or if he should meditate a bit. Dean wouldn’t be able to tell the difference, really. Cas can meditate _and_ stare at the screen at the same time. No problem.

 

“Cas?”

“Mh?” Cas blinks and looks at Dean. “Yes, Dean?”

“Whose idea was it?” He lifts their chained hands.

“Oh. Sam’s.” It doesn’t occur to him that he should maybe lie in order to protect Sam from Dean’s wrath.

“I see. Wasn’t enough to punch me in the face,” he mutters, absently raising his free hand to his jaw.

“It must still hurt. Are you sure you don’t want to be healed?”

“Yeah, ‘m sure.”

Cas furrows his brows at that. “I don’t understand your unwillingness,” he admits. “I just want to help you and make you feel better.”

“Yeah?” Dean looks at him mockingly. “Then get these dumb handcuffs off of me.”

Cas just sighs and eyes the TV again.

“So, why is it you? Does Sam already have enough of me?”

Castiel shakes his head, looking softly at Dean. He can tell that Dean really fears that Sam might be seriously annoyed.

“He wanted to be the one, but I insisted. I can’t get bored, you know? Besides, I recall you complaining about your brother being gassy. So you might not be interested in sharing a bed with him, right?” Dean bobs his head, staring at a spot next to the TV. “And since I don’t require sleep, it doesn’t matter to me when you want to go to bed. I figured that this could have become a problem, too, if Sam was paired up with you.”

“Huh…” Dean nods again in thought, then he looks at Cas, something careful in his eyes. “And you, uh… You don’t mind? I mean… You really won’t get bored with me? We don’t know how long it’ll take us to come up with something that will help me kill Michael.” He rubs his neck with his free hand. “And I really need to pee. But you know…I need privacy.”

Castiel’s face softens in sympathy. “I understand that, Dean. But I have to follow you. I don’t mind whatever you want or need to do. You can ignore me if it helps you, really.”

 

Dean doesn’t look convinced, but he focuses on the TV again, his jaw clenching. Cas really wants to say something comforting, but nothing comes to mind. He sighs internally, then tries to watch the movie, too. When Dean offers him a beer, he accepts it, because it’s nice that Dean thinks of him and Cas wants to appreciate it.

They are quiet for the rest of the movie, and Cas doesn’t notice that Dean’s about to fall asleep until the man is moving slightly at his side. Cas shoots him a questioning look and sees Dean’s upper body twisting towards him, his head lolled back on the couch.

“Dean?”

No answer. It happens oh so slowly and Cas watches transfixed as Dean’s body slides closer to him, his head finally coming to rest on Castiel’s shoulder.

Hesitating, Cas lifts his hand, letting it hover right above Dean’s cheek, as he thinks about the past days. Cas had been in various states of devastation. He’d been upset that Dean hadn’t talked to him about his plan. Instead, he’d heard from Sam. And Cas hadn’t been allowed to speak to Dean. It had been frustrating. Now, he’s glad that Sam was able to convince Dean to come back home with them, but Sam’s right: They can’t be sure that Dean won’t try to escape to make his plan work after all. Dean’s a very stubborn man.

Castiel breathes out slowly and finally touches Dean’s cheek. The other man doesn’t move, soft snores filling the air. Smiling to himself, Cas lets his fingertips brush over the slight stubble up to the smooth cheekbone. For now, he should enjoy Dean’s company. They’ll save him. That’s what the Winchester family does: saving each other, at all costs.

 

The end credits roll, then the room goes silent. Knowing that Dean will wake up because of the silence, Cas lifts his hand from Dean’s face, waving it softly through the air, and suddenly the DVD starts from the beginning. Cas smiles softly and closes his eyes, draping his free hand over the handcuffed one of Dean that is nestled between their bodies. He doesn’t fall asleep, but he listens to Dean’s soft snores, and to his heart beating steady and calm in his chest, pumping the blood through his body.

 

Cas listens to Dean being _alive._

 

***.*.***

 

A hitch in Dean’s breath informs Castiel that the man is about to wake up.

“Hello, Dean.” He doesn’t mind that Dean had been drooling on his shoulder.

Dean lifts his head, wiping absentmindedly the drool off his mouth. “Sorry…” Dean’s face is flushed from sleep, his eyes small and tired. “Are we still watching that movie? I don’t remember it being so long…”

Cas smiles. “It’s actually the third run.”

“Huh…” Dean sits up straight and runs a hand through his hair. “Let’s go to bed.”

Cas nods and stands up, flicking his wrist. At once, the TV as well as the DVD player switch off, the lights turn off, too.

Dean goes very still and silent at that.

“I apologize. I didn’t mean to startle you, but I thought it might be better if you wouldn’t need to deal with all that. Let’s go.”

Dean only grunts and follows Castiel out of the room. He heads towards Dean’s bedroom, but in the middle of the hallway, the other man suddenly stops. “Actually, I, uh… I need a shower.”

Cas nods immediately. “Of course, Dean.” He resumes walking and takes a turn to the left, where the shower rooms are located. Dean seems to be reluctant to enter the room. “I can assist you, if you want me to.”

“Ah, no no no. I can shower on my own.” Dean briefly glances at their handcuffs, then turns his back on Cas. He’s obviously uncomfortable, if his tense shoulders are anything to go by. It would be so easy to save Dean from his misery – Cas is an angel after all – but he doesn’t feel like helping Dean out of this. Castiel doesn’t really understand why humans are so _shy and uneasy_ about certain things, but he knows that Dean doesn’t want to strip down and take that shower in front of him.

 

As Dean stands in the room, staring at the shower head and not moving at all, Cas feels a grin tugging at the corners of his mouth.

“Dean? Are you alright?”

Very slowly, Dean nods, then raises his arms to unbutton his plaid flannel. “Just, ya know…look somewhere else. I like my privacy.”

“Of course, Dean.”

Dean refrains from turning around to see if Cas really obeys.

Cas doesn’t. He smiles to himself and watches Dean losing his clothes. It’s nice, really, how Dean pushes his jeans down his hips, stepping out of them after toeing out of his boots and socks.

“Uh, Cas…?” Dean’s still not turning around to face him, but he wriggles with his cuffed hand, hinting at a problem – he can’t get out of the flannel this way, since the handcuffs are blocking its path.

“No problem, Dean.” Without further warning, Castiel snaps his fingers and all of Dean’s clothes are neatly folded between the closed door.

“Oh…” It’s said slow and there isn’t anything else added by Dean. He gently pulls at the cuffs as he steps toward the shower, turning on the water. Castiel wants to enjoy the view, the naked body dotted with freckles, wants to trace the shape of all of Dean’s muscles with his eyes, but suddenly, Dean turns around to close the shower curtain between them as far as possible. Cas has to twist his arm awkwardly.

“Stay there. No more staring! Jeez, Cas…”, Dean mutters.

 

And then, it’s a bit annoying, if Cas is honest to himself: While Dean showers, he tries to use both of his hands as normal as possible, but that leads to Cas standing there, letting his arm be waved around randomly. It’s a bit unnerving, but he gets through it.

 

Finally, Dean turns off the hot water, steam clouding the room. It’s hot and humid, sweat starts to dampen Cas’ hair. It makes him a bit uncomfortable, so he hopes that Dean will finish quickly. While he’d waited, he zapped his coat and the blazer to Dean’s pile of clothes because he hadn’t been able to stand the heat anymore, and when Dean pushes the curtain aside, Cas pulls at the handcuffs to be able to roll up the sleeves of his white dress shirt – and to be a tease.

Without any complaint, Dean waits and lets him do it. When Cas looks up at Dean, he finds him staring at him. At that, Castiel tilts his head in question, but Dean lets his eyes wander from his temples down to his arms.

Cas uses this opportunity to look at Dean properly. He really is a fine example of a male human being, Cas admits. He’s fairly attractive and those bow legs only increase the sentiment, Cas finds. Absentmindedly, Castiel notices Dean’s toes wiggle, then the other man speaks up.

 

“Cas? Could you stop staring?”

His eyes flick to Dean’s, locking onto them. There’s a tension building between them, _again,_ but this time it’s not the negative one, the one created by things left unsaid.

Dean’s eyes are dark and suddenly, at that sight, Cas feels a swooping sensation in his stomach. He remembers the feeling from back when he’d been a human. But it hadn’t been that strong back then.

Dean swallows and clears his throat, before he simply steps around Cas, gently tugging at the handcuffs. “Just need my…” he murmurs, trailing off mid-sentence. Castiel waits for Dean put on his grey boxer briefs that actually hide nothing – to Castiel’s surprise he only now notices the state of Dean’s nether regions. The very obvious bulge in Dean’s underwear tells Castiel a lot. That much he knows, although he’s an angel.

 

He catches Dean’s gaze, who stares at him with his cheeks flushed, his lips pressed into a tight line. He’s angry. And maybe embarrassed? In any case, he’s not particularly happy, Cas can tell.

“Stop staring, Cas,” Dean grumbles, and normally Cas would apologize for his wrongdoing. But today is different.

“Why? I think I should enjoy everything related to you as long as it’s still possible.” He notices that Dean winces at his words. “You weren’t going to say goodbye to me, Dean.” Hurt is bleeding through his voice now. “You would leave us behind. And we wouldn’t just keep on living, like you probably hope. No, we are going to be dead, too. From the inside. Don’t you know that? The ones you would leave behind, did you ever think of them? How we would feel, and that we might not be able to just…live with your death?”

Dean is slightly trembling now, but he doesn’t comment on Cas’ words. Instead, he begins to brush his teeth. Cas curls his hands into fists, but he refrains from saying more. Dean heard him, and Cas sure gave him something to think about.

When Dean is done, he grabs Cas’ blazer and the coat, just to shove them into Castiel’s arms, before taking his own clothes and dragging Cas out of the bathroom and into Dean’s bedroom.

 

Cas tries to be calm, but when Dean stays silent, even after the light is out and Dean is climbing onto the bed, he snaps. “Isn’t there anything you want to say?”

“No,” Dean grunts immediately. “Just lie down, now, or keep standing next to the bed, whatever, just…” He trails off and tugs at the handcuffs so that he can slide under the covers.

Castiel rolls his eyes, but ultimately settles on top of the covers. He doesn’t require sleep, so he makes himself comfortable by sliding up, putting a pillow behind his back so that he can lean against the headboard. Dean is safely tucked under the blanket, only his chained hand lies on top of it, so that Cas’ arm is nestled right next to Dean’s.

 

“So, what will you do?” Dean murmurs into the darkness. Cas looks down at him. It’s really dark, so he can’t see his eyes. It’s a bummer, really.

“What do you mean?”

“Now. What will you do while I’m asleep?”

Cas just shrugs. “Nothing. I’ll wait right here until you wake up. Time passes a bit different for me, Dean. Don’t worry. I have plenty more millennia to live.”

Dean grunts noncommitally. Then, “Night, Cas.”

“Sleep well, Dean.”

 

Lying here with Dean, in the darkness, Cas must admit that he’s a bit disappointed that the other man hasn’t said anything concerning the topic that Castiel had addressed a few minutes earlier. It’s not an apology that Cas anticipates, but _something,_ Dean should say something to show Cas that he acknowledges his feelings. But he doesn’t. Dean chooses to ignore what Cas thinks and feels, and it stings a bit. Then again, he’s a Winchester – what did Castiel expect?

 

Dean’s breath evens out and it seems like he’s asleep. But he’s not, Castiel can sense it. Dean’s still awake, his thoughts running. Cas shoots him a questioning look, but he can’t see more than his silhouette in the darkness of the quiet room.

 

Slowly, Dean turns onto his side, facing Cas, his forehead nestled against Cas’ hip. Their hands are in the little space left between them, but it’s still comfortable. Castiel is confused, but he smiles nonetheless. It’s sweet, really, how Dean obviously tries to be close to him but at the same time he’s, well, trying not to be obvious about it. If Castiel wasn’t an angel, it would probably work.

Suddenly, there’s also a strong arm draped over Castiel’s hips, and then Dean’s pressing himself even closer to his side. It’s endearing. So Cas’ words did trigger something in Dean. There’s still hope.

 

“Dean.” He feels the warm body next to him tense – so does the grip around his hips. “I won’t let you do this. I won’t let you sacrifice yourself because you think that you have to save humanity.”

It’s quiet for several seconds, before he can hear Dean’s soft whisper. “Why not? It’s what you did years ago, too. You helped us saving the world and died for it.” They probably won’t ever forget Michael in Adam’s vessel, and how he snapped with his fingers and Castiel had simply exploded.

“Things have changed, Dean,” Castiel replies calmly. “For me, it’s not about humanity anymore. I care about my family, my _true_ family. And I won’t accept to live without any of you. As long as there’s a chance, Dean, a ray of hope, then I’ll take it.” Cas closes his eyes in defeat. “It’s utterly selfish, Dean, but I will risk it. If my choice means that humanity ceases to exist because I tried to save us all, and not everyone _except you_ , then I will just…take it. I will do that.” Dean’s breath catches in his throat, while Castiel slowly opens his eyes, thinking that he’s truly a fallen angel. His motives are questionable. Giving up and risking literally _everything_ for this one human.

 

Dean’s grip around his hips tightens to the point where it starts to hurt, and Cas feels the other man’s chained hand grabbing his own. Cas opens his mouth to say something, anything, to convince Dean that he’s worth saving, but Dean speaks faster.

“Fuck, Cas…” As Castiel frowns in light confusion, Dean suddenly lets go of him and sits up just enough to throw a leg over Cas’ thighs, straddling him effectively.

 

Then, there’s already a hot mouth on Castiel’s own.

 

He’s so utterly surprised that, at first, he doesn’t kiss back. It takes him several seconds to realize what’s happening, that he’s supposed to kiss back, but he hesitates because maybe Dean is doing this just in the heat of the moment? Then again, it could be possible that this, right now, is the only chance they’ll ever get at being close.

He can feel Dean hesitantly pulling back, and Cas instantly misses his soft lips, so he leans forward, his conclusion making him bold.

Their chained hands are still clasped together, and Cas threads the fingers of his free hand through Dean’s short hair, pulling him closer until he can feel his warm breath on his own lips. Right before their lips can touch, Cas pauses and furrows his brows. It’s so dark around them. Too dark. “I want to see you,” he murmurs against Dean’s lip as he pulls his hand out of the other man’s hair and snaps his fingers. Instantly, the bedroom is bathed in warm light because Cas switched on the lamp on the nightstand with his mojo.

Dean huffs a soft laugh, his cheeks flushing. “Jeez… You sap.” It’s said with fondness and Castiel smiles, finally bringing their lips together in a soft touch. But Dean won’t have any of that. He’s shifting a bit, shuffling closer to Cas, pressing not only his lips harder to Cas’, but also his crotch against Castiel’s. Feeling Dean’s erection makes Cas’ dick twitch, perking up thanks to what’s happing. It’s nice, really. Castiel groans, grabbing Dean’s hip to have something to hold on to, but soon enough, his hand slides to Dean’s back, lower and lower, finally squeezing his ass and pressing him closer still.

Dean moans into the kiss, rocking slightly forward, creating a delicious friction that has Castiel’s dick harden further.

“ _Unh_ , Dean…” He thrusts his tongue into the other man’s mouth, licking his way into it fervently. He takes his sweet time exploring Dean’s hot mouth, enjoying the taste of _Dean._ There’s a warm hand on his chest, nails scraping over Castiel’s dress shirt, and Cas suddenly only wishes for them both being unclothed.

“Dean…” It takes a lot of effort to lean back a little so that he can speak. His chained hand remains at their sides while his other hand dips into Dean’s sweatpants and underneath his boxer briefs, dragging the fabric a little bit lower with the motion. “Can we take these off? And…the rest?” Dean’s breath hitches. “I want to feel your touch right on my skin,” he admits quietly, sounding more confident than he actually feels.

It takes Dean just a second to get on board with the idea. He nods enthusiastically, then raises both hands to unbutton Castiel’s shirt, but soon enough, the handcuffs get in the way.

“Cas…” Dean sighs, wriggling his wrist. “Can’t we get them off for now? Please?”

“No.” His voice is dark and low, making Dean’s pupils dilate. Cas frames Dean’s face with his hands, which has Dean’s chained hand hanging awkwardly in the air. “I won’t let you go.” Dean’s breath catches audibly in his throat, and he just nods.

“Let me…” Slowly, Cas lifts his free hand, indicating that he’ll just mojo away their clothes, and once Dean understands, he nods in agreement.

The sudden rush of cold air against their skin is a bit too much, and Cas notices Dean wincing, but since they are fully naked now, that creates a distraction. They take in each others’ bodies and although Castiel had seen Dean’s naked body just half an hour ago, it’s still very exciting to see him again like this – especially when Dean sits on top of him, his cock flushed a deep red, pre-come already glistening at the tip.

Slowly, Castiel lifts his gaze, letting his eyes wander over solid muscles and skin dotted with lovely freckles.

 

Cas’ gaze lingers at Dean’s pink lips, which are slightly swollen from their kissing, and still glistening with saliva. At that sight, Cas wets his own lips, then Dean’s mouth is already on his. A tongue thrusts between Cas’ lips, entering his mouth eagerly and exploring it. Castiel just gives in, letting the sensation wash over him. Dean sucks gently at his tongue, then grazes his teeth over Cas’ lower lip. The touches send delicious sparks right down to Cas’ dick. With a groan, he shoves his hand into Dean’s hair, tugging lightly at the strands which elicits a needy moan from Dean. With every sensuous roll of their hips Cas gets closer to the edge as he starts to pant. Dean groans into his mouth, taking Cas apart with every flick of his talented tongue. It’s too much for Cas, apparently, since he can’t do anything then just sit there, pressed against the headboard, moving against Dean, kissing him back with every ounce of energy and emotion he has.

 

As his grip in Dean’s hair tightens, the other man pulls back with a groan, staring between their bodies. Without any warning, Dean takes both their dicks in his big hand, spreading the pre-come along their lengths by thumbing gently across their slits. Cas’ hips buck at the touch, a moan is ripped from his throat.

“Oh, Dean…” He sounds breathless, his voice pitched low.

Dean closes his eyes for a brief moment, pleasure flickering across his face as he squeezes their cocks gently, then jerking them lazily. It feels unbelievable, making Cas’ hips meet Dean’s touch in sync.

 

“Fuck, Cas…” Dean mutters under his breath, placing a firm, but quick kiss on Castiel’s lips, before he takes his hand off of them, slowly shifting down to the end of the bed on his knees.

Cas watches as Dean stares at his dick, licking his lips. “You’re gorgeous, Cas”, he says, pure want in his eyes. “Lemme get a taste of you…”

He doesn’t wait for a reply and Cas’ eyes go wide as Dean lowers his head between Cas’ legs, licking along his shaft. Dean’s free hand grips the base of Castiel’s cock, steadying it before he wraps his sinful lips around the head. The wet, hot mouth around him is overwhelming. It’s glorious.

 

With a broken moan, Castiel lets his head fall back against the headboard, causing a dull thud, but Dean doesn’t look up. He’s completely focused at the task at hand, taking in more and more of Cas, pressing his tongue against the underside of Cas’ cock in a very delicious way.

“Ungh, _Dean_ …!” Cas doesn’t even try to keep his hips from thrusting – there’s no coherency left in him, and besides, his experience with blow jobs is zero. But when Dean almost chokes and pulls back a bit, Cas tries to hold back. His free hand tangles into Dean’s now sweat damp hair, just to have something to hold on to. Dean moans around him, the sound vibrating through Castiel’s whole body, causing a shudder.

 

Again and again, Dean’s name falls from Castiel’s lips, while he makes a mess out of him. Eventually, Castiel props himself up on his elbows, but watching Dean, watching those plush lips stretched around his girth is too much. Castiel can feel his orgasm building _fast._

Groaning, he pulls Dean off of him. “Dean, please… I… I’m too close,” he explains with a husky voice, making Dean grin proudly.

“Hope so, Cas.” His voice is hoarse, and there’s spit leaving a trail on the corner of his mouth, pre-come glistening on his lower lip.

Castiel’s eyes zero in on that, his dick aching with even more need than before.

 

Next thing he knows, he’s flipping them over, hearing Dean _yelp_ at that. But he also sees the delight in those green eyes, and then, he can feel it: he feels Dean’s dick twitching against his stomach.

“Mmmh…you like that, right?” Cas rumbles, and there’s a slow grin spreading on Dean’s face that’s answer enough.

Hovering over the other man, Cas takes his sweet time to take him in, all of him, reveling in the debauched state that Dean’s in. The eyes blown wide, hazy with lust, the short hair already damp, sweat glistening on his face. His cheeks are flushed, muscles tensing as he grabs Cas’ biceps.

 

“Cas, let’s just…” He groans, then stretches his body, reaching out for the nightstand next to them. He fumbles for the drawer, prying it open just a bit. “Can you… Can you reach inside and grab the lube? It’s a small bottle,” he explains as he notices Castiel’s questioning look.

Cas does as he’s told. He finds it quickly, and Dean snatches it from his hands. “Feels better that way,” he mutters and squirts a bit onto his hand, then tosses the bottle away – they both don’t care where it lands.

Cas grunts and jolts into the touch when Dean’s hand wraps around his cock again, now gliding up and down on his length easily, smoothly. He speeds up his thrusts, moaning shamelessly while Dean’s eyes are fixed on his.

“Feels good?”

“Very,” Cas pants, feeling sweet pleasure building inside him.

“Mmmmh, yeah…” Dean takes them both into his hand then, jerking them off enthusiastically. “C’mon Cas, kiss me…” Dean raises the hand that’s chained to Castiel’s to cup his cheek, and Cas feels his own hand hanging in the air right behind his ear. These handcuffs are annoying, and complicating things, but Dean’s effort to get them both off is distracting Cas effectively.

Fulfilling Dean’s wish, Cas leans down, catching his mouth in a searing kiss. His hips resume pumping into the tight circle of Dean’s fist while he pushes his tongue into the other man’s mouth, kissing him slow and deep. Dean starts to make little _unh, unh, unh_ sounds, his moves getting more uncoordinated and desperate.

 

Pressure is building rapidly, making Cas chant Dean’s name against his lips. The sound of their slick skin meeting, their moans, all of this is filling the air, doubling their pleasure.

“Dean, I’m- _ah_ …I’m close…” Cas is thrusting erratically now, sliding his free hand over Dean’s chest, grazing his nipple.

“Oh, fuck, Cas! Yeah… Do that again.” And Cas does, flicking his finger against the hard nub while he feels Dean’s hand speeding up once more, and just like that, Dean’s coming in hot, wet stripes. He moans loudly, squeezing his eyes shut as he rides out his orgasm. Cas watches in awe, the sight pushing him over the edge, too.

Before he can even realize it, Cas is coming, too, shooting white ribbons onto Dean’s hand and stomach. “ _Ah, Dean_ …!”

Dean still works their cocks with his fist, helping Cas through his orgasm, milking even the last drop of come out of him.

 

“Fuck, I love your sex voice… Could get off on that alone…,” Dean mumbles and grins lazily at him.

Cas stills his hips, breathing hard against Dean’s lips. “We should try that soon.”

“Oh yeah…” Dean nods, letting go of their sensitive cocks.

Cas watches as Dean bends to the side again, grasping tissues from the nightstand. “Let me clean us up…”

 

Too tired and sated to move to the bathroom, they clean themselves up as best as it can get with tissues. Castiel feels a negative tension in the air and he looks at Dean, concern in his eyes. He waits for him to say something, although it’s not likely that he’ll do just that.

But surprisingly, Dean opens his mouth as he sits down on the bed. “Cas? Get under the covers, okay?”

Cas feels his face lighten up as he nods. “Of course, Dean.”

Dean smiles shyly at him as they slide under the covers together. “Jeez, it’s easy to make you happy, huh?”

“Yes. I’m a simple angel,” Cas replies smiling, finding himself in a similar position as before they made out, except that now, he’s lying on his back. Dean snuggles closer, putting his head onto Cas’ shoulder. Their chained hands are squeezed between them, but for now, they can ignore that. Possessively, Dean slides an arm around Castiel’s waist and hooks a leg over Cas’.

 

“This is nice,” Cas whispers, slightly tilting his head so that he can breathe in the scent of Dean’s hair. Dean’s so warm and solid.

“Mhmm…” Dean’s arm tightens around his waist. “Cas…” He hesitates and Castiel gives him all the time he needs, he doesn’t push. He just waits.

“Cas, I’m sorry that I didn’t talk to you. I really am. But… I couldn’t do that. You would’ve talked me out of it. You wouldn’t hear any of my shit. I didn’t say goodbye because I don’t care about you – it’s because I care about you _too much._ You have to know that.”

Cas swallows and nods.

“For me, there is just that one way. The way Billy showed me. But there is so much that would hold me back pursuing the plan if I think about it too much, you know?” He sighs, soft breath tickling Cas’ neck. “But that ship has sailed. I won’t leave you, Cas.”

Castiel feels his own heart beating faster. Dean’s finally opening up to him and what he just said… “Promise?”

“…promise. I’ll stay. But you gotta know that it could end with each and everyone dying. And that one’s on us then.”

“We’ll deal with it. With Michael. I’m sure we’ll find another way than having you sacrifice yourself, Dean.”

Cas traces his fingertips over Dean’s naked shoulder as he feels Dean nodding in agreement. “Thanks, Cas…” It’s a whisper, Dean’s close the edge of sleep.

Castiel turns his head and kisses Dean on the top of his head. “Sleep well, Dean. I’ll watch over you. Always.”

 

 

* * *

 

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